


i swear to you

by remremy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 06:23:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11663424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remremy/pseuds/remremy
Summary: "John. Open your eyes."





	i swear to you

Sherlock plays his violin as John putters about in the kitchen. Night had fallen a few hours ago and John had lit the fire and the lamp beside the sofa, then said he'd get them something to drink. Odd, but Sherlock purposefully doesn't think anything of it.

John flicks the light off in the kitchen and stands on the carpet between their chairs. Sherlock finishes up his song and put his violin down. John hands him the whiskey without look him in the eye. His hands are steady.

"Ahem. Sherlock." John's eyes flick up and land somewhere above his right eyebrow. "So." He takes a long sip of whiskey, eyes what he's left in the cup, and throws it back as well. Sherlock raises his eyebrows. John sets his glass on the mantle and fiddles with it for a second.

"You alright?"

"Mm? Oh, yes, I'm fine I just. Wanted to." John clears his throat again and looks down, a hand on his hip. He breathes harshly out of his nose. "You. You're so bloody _smart_ you probably know exactly what I'm going to say." John laughs and it's strained. "I just. You. You know. How I feel about you. I mean. You're my best friend. And I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to disrupt that in. Any way. Or..." John stares into the fire. Sherlock's eyes widen as he finally allows himself to deduce John. _Oh._

" _Oh,_ " he says and John's eyes fall closed and he stiffens. Sherlock blinks at the top of John's head for about thirty seconds before shaking his head and looking at John properly.

John's head is down, his hands completely steady except for his left one, which is anxiously clenching and unclenching. His breathing is harsh and his eyes are squeezed shut, brows knitted, and mouth twisted small. He looks defeated. Oh no.

"John. Open your eyes." John keeps his head down and shakes his head. Sherlock ducks his down and places a tentative hand on John's jaw. John allows his head to be lifted but keeps his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth in a tight, unhappy line. "John," Sherlock whispers. "John. Look at me. Please. I love you. I love you too. Please look at me." John's mouth softens into a small 'o' and his eyebrows lose their sharp edge, sliding upwards. His eyes are still closed and he looks terribly vulnerable so Sherlock kisses him gently, right on his slightly open mouth. John's eyes finally snap open and they are dark blue, wet and red rimmed _hopeful_ , and Sherlock thinks that this is John at his most beautiful. "I _love_ you, John. I do. So mu-" he's cut off by John frantically kissing all round his face, the corner of his mouth, his temple, his jaw, his neck, where Sherlock lets out and embarrassing squawk, and back up to his mouth where he holds them, faces pressed together with their smiles touching, breathing into each other.

"Sherlock. _Sherlock_ ," John says. His voice is rough and cracks on the end of his name as he giggles a little around it.

"I know. I know, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I love you. I love you." John squeezes their faces together harder, then turns his head and buries it in Sherlock's neck. Sherlock lets himself be pulled in and John rubs his back and pets his hair and strokes the nape of his neck, more for his own benefit than Sherlock, he suspects.

"I love you. Thank you for saying it for me. I love you so much," John whispers next to his ear and Sherlock shatters. The tears finally come and John's return and they sob and hold each other between their chairs as the fire pops and crackles.

They eventually stumble into Sherlock's room. They're both chuckling as they crawl under the covers and John settles on his side and just. Looks. Sherlock looks back.

"Thank you," John says again. His mouth is still smiling but his eyes are serious. "I mean it. Thank you for saying it when I couldn't." Sherlock moves closer and puts one hand on John's jaw. He considers his answer before he says.

"I should have said it earlier." John's arm settles at his waist. "I could have. I knew, to some extent at least. I knew how I felt, and I knew that you were at least _sexually_ attracted to me. I should have just. Gone for it."

John shakes his head. "No. You didn't know if I _loved_ you. You deserve love, Sherlock." Sherlock sighs.

"So do you. And I hope that I can be enough." Sherlock runs his fingers through the short hairs on the back of John's head.

"You will be. You are. You have been, even as a friend. Though, I'm not sure if we were ever truly "just friends", now were we?" Sherlock laughs and John kisses him again. "I love you. And I'm going to love you until we get old together and die, and then I'll love you in the next life, and in the next, and over and over again. In every universe there's going to be us, like this. I swear to you." Sherlock pauses, eyes prickling. Then he rolls onto his back and pulls John on top of him, and hugs him tightly. John hugs him back and says, "I swear to you." Sherlock nods and pulls him in tighter.

"I love you," he says again. He's spent so much time not saying it that it seems to be the only thing he _can_ say. "So much. _So_ much." John nods and kisses the corner of his jaw. "I swear to you."

**Author's Note:**

> its currently 1:38 am here. i was reading a different fic, saw a line, thought "oh my god this line but John", and it snowballed into This


End file.
